When planning a funeral, it’s easy to feel pressure about how it “should” be done. With so much talk about celebrating life, it can seem like every farewell needs to be light and uplifting. But the truth is, there are no rules. Not every funeral has to be a joyful occasion, and it’s completely okay if yours isn’t. What matters most is that it feels right for you and your family.
It’s Okay for a Funeral to Be Sad
Grief is deeply personal, and the way we say goodbye should reflect that. While some people find comfort in creating a celebration full of laughter and happy memories, for others, that simply doesn’t feel right—especially in the case of sudden or tragic loss. Sometimes, the sadness is too raw, and forcing a “celebration” can feel out of place. If what you need is a space to mourn, to acknowledge the depth of loss, and to honour your loved one in a more reflective and solemn way, that is absolutely okay.
Finding Beauty in Honouring a Life
The most important thing is to honour your loved one in a way that feels authentic. Some families find comfort in keeping things small and private, while others prefer a formal, traditional service. There’s no single “right” way—it’s all about what brings you peace. As a funeral celebrant, I take the time to ask thoughtful questions and guide you through your options, helping you create a service that reflects your loved one and supports those left behind.
Creating a Ceremony You’re Comfortable With
Even in the saddest of circumstances, a funeral can be deeply meaningful. It doesn’t have to be upbeat to be beautiful. A quiet, heartfelt ceremony can provide a space for reflection and connection. It’s about creating a farewell that allows you and your family to express what you’re truly feeling, without any outside expectations. Many services naturally include a mixture of light and shade—moments of sorrow intertwined with moments of warmth and laughter. It doesn’t have to be entirely one way or the other; you can shape it in a way that feels right.
When we work together, I’ll help you explore what feels best—whether that’s a deeply reflective ceremony, a structured farewell with traditional elements, or something entirely unique. There’s no need to follow a trend or meet anyone else’s expectations. Your grief, your memories, and your love for the person you’ve lost are what shape the service.
A Farewell That Feels Right for You
In many ways, a funeral is for those who are left behind. It should provide comfort, allow space for grief, and honour the life that was lived—however that may look for you. If you’re feeling unsure about what kind of service to have, I’d be honoured to support you in creating a farewell that truly feels right.
If you’d like to talk through your options, I’m here to help.
