Death is a topic we’re not always comfortable discussing in polite company. Unlike many other cultures, Australians have come to see death as something of a taboo. In reality, death is very much a part of life, and it’s something we will all have to face at some point.
Since becoming a funeral celebrant I’ve noticed how eager people are to ask questions. Naturally I’m more than happy to answer and am comfortable with any discussions around death, dying and funerals. I’m actually quite passionate about how important these conversations are and feel we could do death a lot better in this country if we allowed our natural curiosity to come to the surface.
So here are some of the FAQs in my world which might be of interest to you. Please feel free to reach out if you want to ask anything else.
What does an average funeral cost? The total funeral industry in Australia is worth around $1.7 billion dollars, and individual funerals do not come cheap. The amount can vary greatly but families will generally spend between $5000-$20,000 on a loved ones funeral. Items such as high end caskets, cemetery plots in sought after areas and inclusions such as catering, cars, videography and flowers can quickly see costs soar far beyond these amounts. Thankfully celebrant costs make up only a small fraction of total expenditure despite the important role we have to play.
Which is more popular, cremation or burial? Cremations far outweigh cemetery burials in Australia with around 70% of people choosing this option. Initial costs for either option are similar but cemetery fees over time make burial a more costly option. Both have a similar environmental impact due to carbon emissions at the time of cremation proving slightly less significant than the resources needed to maintain a cemetery plot over time.
‘Why on earth would you want to work in the funeral industry’? Well, for me this is actually a very life affirming role, supporting people who are very much alive and in need of help. I am constantly reminded of how precious our lives are and how limited our time is here on earth. I also have the absolute privilege of hearing wonderful stories about amazing people and learn so much from every family I meet. To me it’s the best job in the world!
What happens if people can’t afford a funeral for their loved one? You may have heard the term Paupers Funeral and this is something that still happens. The state government will fund a direct cremation (without a funeral service) or burial in a shared plot on behalf of the next of kin. The grave where the deceased’s body or ashes are buried will remain unmarked, however the plot number is noted for the public record. Centrelink also offer some bereavement payment services to those who are suffering financial hardship when a loved one dies.
What do I say/how do I help my grieving friend? This is a great question, because it immediately shows you care and want to be sensitive and helpful. The most important thing you can do is to show up for that person, and not to worry too much about how they respond. It’s always better to say something than nothing (just don’t offer platitudes like “they’re in a better place”) and it’s always better to guess what someone might need and just do it for them rather than say “let me know how I can help”.
There are loads of brilliant resources around if you’re curious about death, I’ll link to them below. Let’s keep the discussions going so we can all do death better.
This great documentary with Ray Martin “The Last Good Bye” explores the Australian death industry https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/tv-series/ray-martin-the-last-goodbye
Deadly Conversations is a fabulous podcast by my friend and mentor Fiona Garrivan. Well worth a listen!
https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/deadly-serious-conversations/id1522800087
